Last Resort

In my Life Application Study Bible the commentary for 1Samuel 14:35,36 states "After being king for several years, Saul finally built his first altar to God, but only as a last resort. Throughout Saul's reign he consistently approached God only after he had tried everything else. This was in sharp contrast to the priest, who suggested that God be consulted first. How much better if Saul had gone to the God first, building an altar as his first official act as king. God is too great to be an afterthought. When we turn to him first, we will never have to turn to him as a last resort."

This spoke to me this morning in thinking when do I turn to God. I wonder if I really even trust him to talk to me and guide me? This is perplexing because one time I felt so clear in what he wanted me to do, I didn't question my actions so much as I do now. For instance I knew an action I had to take regarding a relationship and I took it. However a few years later I did not trust the action I had to take regarding another relationship. Instead I questioned and questioned what I was supposed to do and only did it as a last resort. Even then I wavered back and forth.

How do we turn to God first? How do we give him complete reign in our life? Is there something he is speaking to your heart about? If so are you willing to let it go and let him guide you? I ask these questions because I feel a tug on my heart regarding exercising and I do not want to give it up. I value the human shape very much and when I don't feel like I fit the "mold" then I feel less valued. As a matter of fact I can pretty much worthless.

So I ask, "what will He have me do?". I get upset and think the worst like he will have me sit around all day doing nothing, talking to people, bored out of my mind, becoming fat, not able to walk up a flight of stairs without breaving heavily, unable to perform simple tasks without being tired and so on and so forth. Yet his word says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). He also states in Matthew 7:7-12:

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

The comfort in this is I am asking God to help me follow him and if he is telling me to quit something I want to do or do something differently He is not going to harm me. It says in his word "how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." So do I trust this? Am I going to seek God first or, like Saul, take matters into my own hand and then last resort, when my heart is still not fulfilled, seek God and His will?